o(╥﹏╥)o cRyinG?? n0?? Y3s?? :::::: o(╥﹏╥)o L0V3s hIm m0sT... o(╥﹏╥)o
o(╥﹏╥)o cRyinG?? n0?? Y3s?? :::::: o(╥﹏╥)o L0V3s hIm m0sT... o(╥﹏╥)o
yes i am crying... why... cause i am really sad... no matter how you humiliate me i can ren want... why cause i still love you... still want to be your wife and the mother of your children.. why dont give me that chance.. eyes swollen again... i dont want to cry infront of you cause i want to be strong infront of you to prove to you i can want... (;_;):::::::::::::: asking me to disappear from your life you really want that??.... that you tell your friend and they come and attack me... how you attack me i also can... but didnt expect that they come and attack me again..
Guess What They Say My Beloved And Always Love Husband.... let me tell you bahx... second time in my life someone called me a bitch, slut, still a THIRD PARTY... that say from the start you be with me is because you want to prove to others you can chase me and win other eople... you from the start never love me before... ONCE ALSO DONT HAVE!!!! you just want to sleep with me... after that throw me away... but didnt expect that i will stick to you like a gen bi chong....
i choose not to believe them, but i still cried... than today i send the him a message saying "laogong i think i will give you some peace.. talk i wont talk to you call also wont.. you pretend i dont exist bahx.. cause i wont.. you want do what i dont care liao.. cause i dont have the strength to care.. anything i will message you only.. if you want reply me or not i also fine liao now.. i hate myself for loving you so much and you hate me so much.. that you tell others about me that now i kanna scold by your friends that actually dont know what happen.."
but this message is not from my heart... i dont want you to not care me... dont want to cannot talk to you.. dont want to cannot call you... i say that i dont want to care, but than i will still care but not so open already this time... i dont want you dont reply me... i DONT HATE MYSELF LOVING you... i will ignore what your friends said to me... WHY?? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!!!!
"WHO WILL UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL AND WHY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH??"
i dont want to leave you and really dont want you to leave me... who will understand...
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today i go to work half day in the morning cause Soo Kim and Vivien got course and Jess is on leave, therefore i have to stand in... i have no strength at all... when we are at office and walking up the stairs he ask me " I rest so much, how come still like dieing like that " i also dont know how to reply him.... after that Srini (My Boss) called me... i thought what happen later kanna scolding... but actually not... just want to let me know something... THEY ARE SO NICE!!!! : ) they are very concern about me, still ask me to go home... : D hahahaz... after that all the things i state up there is what i want to say here...
time pass very fast... than lunch liao lerx... i when back the him fetch me home.. than me, the him and esther loke when to eat lor mee... but i dont have any wei ko... so i didnt eat much... I AM SO HAPPY EATING WITH HIM!!! see eating with him only so happy liao.. he knows?? nope he dont know.. [%^&] after that he still say bye bye to me... making me even more happy... but i doubt he knows... : )...
reach home.. rest awhile and go see doctor... but i so stupid... go down the doctor close liao.. stupid me still sit outside to wait for so long... diao... : ( waste my time... go home than sleep liao lerx... just wake up want to go see doctor liao... : ) any updates later than i update again... : )....
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@2108hrs:::::::::::::::::::
i just came back from seeing the doctor... WAH!!!! i waited for so long until my head very pain sia.... : ( than the doctor ask me things i not paying attention... hahahax... so weird he ask me things i like gong gong like that dont know what i talking also... : D so funny... hahahax...
came back home see the him at home also never call me or msg me to ask where i am... i know he doesnt bother already... cause i know that he thinks all that i say is bluffing only... it is okies... once twice than no more liao lerx... i almost talk to him sia... how i wish to talk to him... (;_;)....
the doctor gave me two days MC for me to rest at home... ^^// gonna have a good rest and dont stress myself too much until the next review at NUH... i hope this time they can see something... cause i dont want a relapse again...
he is going out now... i didnt ask where he is going... i see he take his car keys... maybe going to find them again... what can i say.. i say i willl give him peace liao wont talk to him... how i wish i want to ask him if he where he is going... i dont know what to do... keep quiet and cry quietly??.... (;_;)::::::::::::::
(>*_*>)lovelygalthatloveshimonly
luvs@pooh&him
Dr3aMs to Get MaRRieD to tHaT hIm
ZT
February 2008