hApPin3ss aNd luV iS YoU

My hApPin3ss aNd luV iS YoU

you & me (n_n)

live and love forever

Welcome to crazy@gal-htblogspot.com.

Here's a story of a girl,
Living in the lonely world,
A opened love, A secret hurt,
A husband that doesn't appreciates.

Well, I'm standing in the crowd,
And when you smile I check you out,
But you don't even care,
You're too busy playing games,

And I want you too know,
If you lose your way,
I won't let you go.

If I cut my hair,
If I change my clothes,
Will you notice me?

If I am secertly crying,
If I am right beside you,
Will you notice me?

My Everyday Life - Experiences

Monday, October 25, 2010; 10/25/2010 05:43:00 PM

(n_n) hAppY HaPPy dAy (n_n)

starting of a new week starting of a new day... everything will be different (i hope)....

didnt really update last two days cause i am dammmmeeeeddddddd lazy!!!!!!! hahahaz... but gonna have to update cause pass two days i am really, EXTREMELY, really, HAPPY...

saturday, 23/10/2010:

nothing much about that day, wait wake u play computer, after that msg my friend shi li...
she was at work in chua chu kang @ a singtel shop... wait for her to off work than go and eat dinner together with both our loved ones.. hahahaz... : D my darling went down to go and play basketball that day and injured his hand.. haiiiz.... dont understand y he dont want to listen to me???..... now both his hands and legs are all hurt... damm sad to see him like that... (;_;)....

after that the four of us plus jimson went to market to have our dinner... hahahaz... wah shi li is so cool sia... she having fever and sick and still can eat so hot... COOL!!!.... hahahaz... me, darling and weizhi ate lasi lemak.. hahaha... jimson so funny say dont want to eat than after we all eat finish liao he go and buy chicken wing to eat.. i assume that he see us all eating like so nice than he also hungry liao lerz... : D hahahaz...

went back home.. than weizhi, shi li, and darling play L4D until 5am in the morning sia... darling say that the both of them very hyper-active hahahaz... : D

too bad i dont know how to play, plus dont have account, PLUS darling laptop is a grandfather laptop cannot support the game... : D hahahaz... next time i bring my own laptop than ask my darling to teach me how to play... he so funny sia... only teach me how to hit the zombies and shoot them hahahaz... : D

sunday, 24/10/2010:

hmm... me and my darling woke up at about 3plus in the afternoon... hahahaz.. i knew it that he cant wake up to go to visit xiao hei in the camp.. hahahaz... : D in the end got ppl say he lazy and put areoplane... : ( who ask him... haiiiz...

after that we went to KFC to have lunch.. : D nice sia.. but dont know what happen to him... it seems that he no wei kou eat little bit jiu say full liao lerz... : D hahahaz... i was so happy... he said that if i get myself a job right than next time BOTH OF US CAN BUY A CAR TOGETHER!!!!!! wah i hear liao damm happy sia... : D mouth smile until want to crack liao lerz... : D hahahahahaz...

after that we both go home and than he went down to play basketball again... : (

i msg shi li ask her where is she... it was about 7 plus liao... i almost forgot to go down market there the photoshop to get my darling's photo.... hahahaz... later kanna scold sia... luckily shi li msg me than i see the time.. WAH SO LATE LIAO SIA!!!!!

than wei zhi also want to go down basketball court, so i go and meet shi li at the basketball court after that go and collect the photos.. hahahaz.. shi li say my darling so white.. actually it is true... thats why he is called "XIAO BAI" hahahaaz... : D

before i go down i still take my own sweet time to prepare.. haiiz... must change my habit liao...

!!!!!BE MORE HARDWORKING!!!!!

i was about to go down shi li called me saying the girls are all downstairs want to meet other place anot... i was like haiiz... than i think again.. "Y SHOULD I SCARED THEM CAUSE I ALREADY GET MY STATUS BACK LIAO LERZ...." so i like this tell shi li.. but than i was really scared... in fact i dont want to see them... so i go down i try not to look at them... but than i still go and see... than i saw the person that hate me the most keep looking at me... so i go find shi li than faster walk off liao.. i didnt even bother to say hi to anyone... haiiz...

after that me and shi li go and take photo liao, pass by the bubble tea shop and buy water for ourselves and for the both of them... : D i so auntie sia.. than on the way back i thinking want to go there anot... cause the girls are there... : ( but than halfway back i saw them all walking away... i tried not to look at them and pretand they are not there... but i know they all staring at me... but i was happy that they left... cause i dont have the burden when i sit down there... i dont know want to try make friends with them anot.. and forget that they once like that treat me... haiiz..

should i take the first step to make friends with them????

both me and shi li sot already... sit at the basketball court not see them play basketball but go and play the ICE TYCOON... play until we both sot already... hahahaz... everyone think that we all sot liao... play until so siao... hahahaz... : D than edmund lend my phone to call his brother.. i was shocked sia.. caused i thought allof them got the girls than wont want to talk to me liao lerz... hahahaz... i was so sorry to gary caused he ask me for time than i play game until so siao... i didnt really go and reply him!!! was so RUDE of me... haiiz.. next time than i bu chang okies... so sorry... : D hahahaz...

after that four of us plus big david went to eat dinner at the market.. WAH his car is very big and expensive sia... : D nice car, sit also very the su fu... hahahaz... : D but poor big david... he ownself eat only, cause the four of us not very the hungry... me and shi li go and play the ice tycoon again... haiiz.. must control myself liao... hahahaz... : D after that we all send shi li home... cause got ppl going to her house to play mahjong.. actually can see darling want to play mahjong want.. but all dont want to play i think he also sian.. hahahaz.. : D after that big david send us all home...

darling and wei zhi play L4D awhile than after that go sleep liao cause they tomorrow got work... but darling say he cant sleep cause not used to so early sleep but too bad he tml got work.. so no choice have to force himself to sleep.. than i slept at about 5am... msging shi li all the while.. hahahaz..

today, 25/10/2010:

slept until going to 5pm than wake up..

PIG SIA ME!!!!!
______

^. .^ \੩
(oo)______/
WW WW

haven done anything yet today so will update again later bah... hahahaz...
i was really happy cause darling kiss my head before he left for work.. i so happy although i was half sleeping and half awake...

(>*-*>)blessed&happygal

luvs@pooh&you

Friday, October 22, 2010; 10/22/2010 02:37:00 PM

(;_;).... aN0th3R bIg bL0w .....(;_;)

(\(\ (\(\
(-.-)♥ KOH GIN SHENG (-.-)♥

o(")(") o(")(")

i saw something that make me have hope.. and when,
i was about to have hope all this comes in...

[小 says (1:43 PM):

*so u dont hv any feeling for her right?

*then tell her strieght

小 says (1:44 PM):

*u mean she keep pestering u

*then wat did u do?]

i dont know want to cry or want to angry or want to give up...
for that second i was so stuned... it is another blow for me... (.-.)

i have no mood to go anywhere already.. pay than pay... SORRY GIRLS!!!
how i wish to see you all and gather with you all, talk and chit chat...
but than i u-turn and go and find someone else...

i did many and too many stupid things yesterday and today... thought that there is a chance...
but i think i think too much liao... in order to cool down yesterday, i sat at the kitchen for an hour reading my story book till 4am in the morning...

(+_+#) WHY MUST I DO SO MUCH STUPID THINGS... (#+_+)

when i already know that i wont get it want..

this morning also...

˙˙ɟlǝsʎɯɹoɟʎluoʞuıɥʇoʇpɹɐʇsɐqɐɯɐıʇɐɥʇsɯǝǝsʇıʇnq˙˙ʇıdlǝɥʇ,uɐɔıʇɐɥʇɥɔnɯooʇnoʎǝʌolıʇnq
˙˙ǝɔɐǝdoɯǝʌɐɥpuɐɹǝɟɟnsnoʎǝʞɐɯpuɐnoʎoʇsǝoƃʇɐɥʇǝuoǝɥʇɯɐısǝʎ˙˙ǝʞoɾɐsɐʇıǝʞɐʇǝuoʎɹǝʌǝ,noʎɹoɟǝʌolʎɯpuɐƃuıɥʇʎɹǝʌǝʇnqnoʎǝʌolı

i took so much of my courage.. but i am not angry... : D i will never be angry with you ever..

cause you never do anything wrong at all..

updated.....

after he come back from interiew we went out... actually we want to order KFC to eat want.. but than too bad the stuff we want the KFC never deliver... so in the end we at market packet and go back to eat.. i bought lasi lemak and he buy the kuay chup... as normal... hahahaz.. nothing much to eat... the mee huan kuay never open.. so i sian cannot eat...

the him wanted to go shealter want... and went we both go to the market on the way we say the YY, all this... hmm.. he go call them and let go of my hand.. feel bad but than i decided it is okies.. so i never make noise.. hahahaz.. i think it is childish to make noise just because he go touch and call the girls.. hahahaz.. i not that childish... : D

we went home eat all this than he go and sleep.. SO PIG right... hahahaz... : D

i was shocked.. he changed his facebook status to in a relationship.. but never put who... i am doubting.. but than i think again i shouldnt doubt... he might be referring to me... i also dont know.. : D should i be happy or not??... i feel weird.. haiiz...

(\(\

(; . ;)

o_(")(")

(>*-*>)itistimegal

luvs@pooh&you

Thursday, October 21, 2010; 10/21/2010 11:09:00 PM

(♥_♥) 恶作剧之吻 (♥_♥)

very normal day today.. happily sleeping but so many phone calls that make me wake up.. hahahaz... : D

but sleep so long also no good.. : D

hmm.. today the him went for an interview in the afternoon 3pm.. before he left he gave me S$10 for me to go down buy LOR MEE for me and him at 3.30pm... : D yesterday his army friend in facebook say he fu**ing pissed with him.. haiiz i dont understand what they thinking sia.. why they all so childish and petty want... play mahjong only marz... the him dont want to go and play also cannot... must force him to go... he dont want to play one reason is that he already out of job for almost a month liao lerz.. and dont want to waste money on mahjong... (like you know mahjong got win got lose want marz...)!!!!! the other reason is that he got interview at 3pm...

dont understand sia.. like mahjong is their life like that... i crazy for mahjong also dont have crazy until like that sia... dots...!!!!!! so petty... dont understand sia.. why not go and wear skirt... one of them still tell the him to cancel his interview and go play sia... HE IS ABSOUTLY OUT OF HIS MIND!!!!!!!!!! dots... i yesterday was thinking that today after he come back from interview ask the him to go find them after he finish his interview... so childish dont play mahjong only marz.. also want to scold him on facebook... haiiz... small kid, small kid....

after he come back before i can tell him than he say that he is going over liao.. hahahaz.. this one i also know cause he dont say i will also ask him to go over.. i dont want later they think is i ask him not to go over want... but even if i ask him to go over anot they also wont know want.. hahahaz... : D the person that ask him not to go for interview one horz... i really dont know want to say what sia... like small kid say what like friend dont friend like that and somemore horz.. still say what got important things to tell him than say want to meet want.. all these are all excuses lorz.. got important things can just say on the phone marz.. must play mahjong or play lan than can say maez???.... NONSENSE SIA!!!!! i thought that friend dont friend this kind of things happen only in primary school... dont understand why will appear infront of a bunch of people that has finished their NS (when people say that guys that finished NS will become more mature..)... haiiz... dont understand...

but nvm after all i know that he will go over want... : D i also know he wont so early come back want.. their pattern i already see until dont want to see liao.. as long as the him is happy can liao... hahahaz... : D

i thought guys shouldnt be so xiao qi want.. hahahaz... seems that i am wrong sia.. : D worst than girls... when they xiao qi the time... *CE CE CE*

now i waiting for the him to come back home... hahahaz..

I did a personality test today by my dear friend SHI LI...

1. When you walk into a forest imagine what is the first animal you see.. (Butterfly)

2. Second animal that you will see.. (Rabbit)

3. Next you will walk pass a small small house.. 1. You ingore 2. You will knock and go in. 3. You will rush in. (I will knock and go in.)

4. When you go into the house. There are 20 candles.. How many will you light up? (All)

5. In the house you want the table to be round or square? (Round)

6. At the table how many chairs will you put there? (5)

7. There is a container.. What kind of material will you want it to be? (Glass)

8. The volume of water in the container? (Full)

9. You walk out of the house there is a waterfall. How fast is it? Rate from 1-10. (7)

10. There is a pond. How many swans are inside? (10)

11. You want to cross the pond to the other side. How will you do it? Jump into the water and swim over or others? (I will find another way/route/path to walk over to the other side)

THE INTERPRETATION IS:

1. I have the character of a butterfly. (have to check what is the character of a butterfly "p)

2. Rabbit is my lifetime partner. *my the him is rabbit... : D hehehehehehehez.....*

3. I choose to knock and go in means that i am ready for a new relationship.

4. I choose to light up all the candles means you are a very generous person.. *Thank you! Thank you!*

5. I choose round means that i am not a stubborn person, can take people's advise, and will never know how people look at myself.. (partly true, partly not true.)(i only stubborn in my love life that makes the interpertaion false, but i other than that i am fine and will listen to advise, which make the interpertation true.. hahahaz...)

6. I choose 5 chairs means how friendly i am.. (Which mean i am neutral.. hahahaz..)

7. I choose glass means the material of my heart.. (Which means that my heart is easily broken.. no wonder i cry so easily... hahahaz..)

8. I choose full for the volume of water means that i will giv my partner my full/whole heart.... (that is so true... : D)

9. for the waterfall part is so hahahaz.. so i wont interpret.. : D hehehehez.. *but you can ask me personally...*

10. I choose 10 swans in the pond means that i have 10 good friends... (thinking my 10 good friends are who... **let me count**) 1. DARLING 2. NETCHANOK 3. CHERYL TAN 4. JING YI 5. QUN YING 6. LILIAN 7. SARAH 8. GUO WEI 9. KUWANG WEI 10. ANGELA | hmm just nice.. : ) |

11. I choose to take another path rather than jump in and swim over means that i think before i do things.. (which is true.. but to alot of people it is not true... : )

people you can try to ask others about this too... : ) wait the him come back i also want to ask... hehehehez... : D

(>*-*>)happygal

luvs@pooh&you

Tuesday, October 19, 2010; 10/19/2010 11:57:00 PM

＿|￣|○ mArri3d 0R n0t mArri3d ＿|￣|○

＿|￣|○ mArri3d 0R n0t mArri3d ＿|￣|○

anyother day of destresss.....

i cried infront of him again.. i ren already... but because i heard and see things that i dont want to see...

not because that he is going to the basketball court to play with them.. nor is it that Benji ask him to go together with alan and him to go find YenTing....

is that i got another msg and this is not from the previous girllllllll... this time i dont know who... cause i dont have the number.. this time i never go and reply.. i just delete away that message... but i read the message i am so damm sad... (;_;).... this time the message was more violent... scolding me a "mother fu**er", a "bitch" and more... i tried to not show it out.. but than lying on his shoulder i all of the sudden cried... i tried hard not to let him see already...

i get all this humilations not one or two times already... i should be used to it already... : (

i never say anything about this message.. i wont want him to know... cause i know that even if i tell the him, he isnt going to do anything.. cause he say liao lerz.. "i not his girlfriend.."

i changed my blog song to this song 到死都爱你 from the new korean drama 大物.. i put this song cause i think it is nice.. and one other reason is also i want to tell the him the title of the song... got someone told me something interesting.. hahahaz.. one way to get his heart.. but than i feel that no point want.. and it is not going to work.. it will make the him run more further... (u_u)

pratically.. today i cancelled alot of things.. and did alot things that are successful... (wont say what it is... : D )

the him came back from basketball... we order KFC delivery... hahahaz.. i dont really like drumlets... but than is he buy want... so i eat also very happy.. hahahaz... : D while watching we watched a amercian army show.. haiiz.. nice show.. "TEARS OF THE SUN"....

haiiz.. i am damm sad cause today the him at basketball court hurt himself... the other leg... haiiz.. the whole thing swollen liao lerz.. i see liao i so sad sia.. : ( haiiz.. but i say him he also dont want to listen than how.. maybe if it is that person he will listen... as long as he recover i will do whatever it takes... : (

(>*-*>)painfulgal

luvs@pooh&you

Monday, October 18, 2010; 10/18/2010 11:39:00 PM

٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ wHAt sH0uLd B3 D0N3 ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶

٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ scared ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶

10 questions that i want to ask!!!!

1. What can i do?
2. Why have it have to be done infront of someone you love?
3. Which do you preferr?
4. Can i dont be scared?
5. How can i stop all this?
6. When can i leave?
7. Have i had to see all this?
8. May i have the honour to be there?
9. Should i be given the chance and i shoule give the chance?
10. COULD THERE BE A WAY TO GET TO THAT DAY?

every night i have been having the same dream over and over again.. make me cry in my dreams.. reality already cry until tired liao lerz.. how come dream inside also want to cry..

the dreams goes like this.. simple and short than i wake up liao lerrz.... (;_;)

the him went to sentosa with that group of people.. and than one day i having dinner with the him and his good friend... i went out to get the food.. coming back the time i heard the him friend ask him what the hell he wants and why he want to do that.. i wasnt quite sure what is happening.. same as the him.. than the him ask the friend what he talking about.... the friend angrily said dont act blur and throw a lot of pictures on the table and ask him why he want to play me!!!! i was so curious i went in, put down the food and pick the pictures up to look... (.-.) shocked!!!!... every picture inside i see the him hugging another girl and can guess who.. i dont want to say out the name... after that i was so depressed ＿|￣|○ i jumped... after that i wake up already... having this kind of dream isnt very funny... i feeling of falling is so scary... having to die like this is so horrible.. bringing along with me those sadness and hurts...

thats why i keep having sleepless nights.. if not i will wake up in the middle of the night!!!!

i keep thinking alot of things.. wanting to call him or msg him.. but like i said i am so afraid that the group of people wont let me go.. so in the end i didn't...

today i discover something again.. everyday at least got one thing for me to see want...

yesterday want the favourites...

today i found out he created a new email: xiiaobaiz@hotmail.com.. and also if he also created a blog..

now he go out.. he never kiss me on my forehead before he leave... he didnt even bother... i am half awake half asleep so i know.. slowly slowly he will take away everything from me... he go and play basketball come back i keep thinking he go pasa malam with her... i stupidly go and ask him wanting to trust him... i shouldnt have go and ask... than the him left yen ting's cup at the basketball court, he wants to go get it back actually i want to help him go and buy food and take the cup want... but thinking again i dont want to go cause i scared... : ( he say me lazy i also okies... he bought nasi lemak for me and himself... came back we eat and also watch one ghost movie scary sia... : (

i ask him, he got anything he want to tell me???.. he say what... than i dont want to ask liao...

i also dont know how to ask, i am scared i get the answer that i dont want to hear... (;_;)

i dont even dare to call him darling also...

i am restricting myself already... try not to talk too much also...

pratically i think no more chance liao...

while helping him to make his leg, his army friend called him.. i think thursday the him going to play mahjong with them... seeing him keep msging the person talking on msn it hurts so much... but than i ren not to cry infront of him... now i always cry in the bath room so no one will know if not i pretand i watching a sad show.. can give me an excuse to be crying... (u_u)....

ONE STEP AT A TIME.. CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THAT RECTANGULAR STUFF...

(>*-*>)closertotheregal

luvs@pooh&you

Sunday, October 17, 2010; 10/17/2010 10:00:00 PM

(♥_♥) faV0uriT3s (♥_♥)

(.-.) shocked and dazzeled... (.-.)

i am not inside your favourites list anymore..
my place has been taken over by a girl called PAMALA if i never spell wrongly..
i was shocked and stun for a min... when did this happen.. i want to cry.. my tears are all in my eyes.. i am so afraid that it will roll down my face infront of you...

anyway i also cannot expect anything from him anymore.. it is natural that he change someone and take my place in the him's heart.. i will not be there soon maybe...

i didn't mean to go and see the him's phone.. in the end i saw things that i aren't surpose to see.. as i type i am listening to the song 我們沒有在一起 by 劉若英... my tears just uncontrolly fall of my eyes.. but i never make a sound... i dont want the him to know i saw.. i think tomorrow they are going out.. but i will pretand i dont know and i wont go and ask also... (;_;)

i pratically dont know what to say now.. after i saw that my mind is rather blank..

before i saw this.. i was at home writing the story book that i was reading... TRUE LOVE AND OTHER DISASTERS by Rachel Gibson... her books are interesting... not meaning the sex part... i want to write haha but i now not in the mood...

i was multi-tasking.... play mahjong, writing and watching show.. wah cool right me..

the him called me... i was so happy.. : D

we went down to eat.. it was after that he batheing the time than i saw want.. i didnt eat.. cause i know that he is not in a good finacial condition to feed me.. i can ren want.. i want to try help him all that i can.. dont want to give him so much burden before i go.. i want him to have good memory of me..

i think thats all that i want to say today.. not really in a good condition to blog today...!!!! will blog again tomorrow...

(>*-*>)notafavouritegirl

luvs@pooh&you

8(>_<)8 Fr3akInG SaD bUt hAppY w33k 8(>_<)8

how should i go about saying??... i also dont know how to start..

Wednesday, 13.10.2010:

i am so happy... the him send me to the SAF CMPB for my medical check-up and never say anything, like angry all this.. i am over-joyed sia.. cause i was afraid that the place is so far than the him wont want to send me there.. after that i reached he left for home this is for sure want.. but than i still tried to ask him to wait.. too bad i dont have my phone.. so he go home liao lerz.. i also know that he is tired also.. so early in the morning @ 8am.. so early sia the check-up.. acutally the check-up quite fast want.. the only thing that i wasnt happy was that.. when the NSman take my blood, he was so CHOR LOR.. he poke and take out the needle like not poke and taken out from a human with meat sia.. make until my hand until now still got the blue-balck sia.. haiiz.. other than that nothing much liao.. go home and sleep.. after that i dont rmb what happen liao lerz..

nowadays the things that i do, i hardly rmb after a day or so.. my memory is so bad now.. i dont know what is happening sia.. haiiz.. somemore at night i cant see anything.. really dark sia.. (T.T).... i also dont know what is happening.. maybe the side effects are coming out liao lerz.. and starting to take my health away liao lerz.. haiiz.. : (

Thursday, Friday, i dont really rmb what happen sia.. i forget what i did liao lerz... haiiz.. the only thing that i rmb is that i almost quarrelled with the him because of that girls.. haiiz.. i also dont want to angry and jealous want.. but i know he say all this is because he want me to leave him so he can go and chase other girls.. i know.. but....

DARLING PLEASE BE PATIENCE!!! VERY SOON I WONT BE THERE ANYMORE.. JUST BEAR WITH ME ANOTHER 1 MORE MONTH OR SO...

anyway the him keep say me fan, irriating, gen bi chong.. haiiz.. all this said by him i still can ren abit.. but than i was treatened by someone that said that is his new GIRLFRIEND... haiiz.. you know what she say to me...

are you xiao bai the EX-GF??
why are you still at his house??
you are so thick-skin..
he already on facebook put he single already and clear all your things..
why are you still pastering him and like a glue...
because of you... xiao bai cannot openly chase me..
i like him.. and he likes me.. you are the stupid person that still dont want to give up..
just f***ing f off..

there are more to all this things.. i want to let the him see want.. but than when i tried, he sided that girl.. so i end up delete all the msg and than dont want to let him know liao.. cause i know he wont do anything want.. i know he loves her and not me anymore.. she still say the him is take pity of me only.. is i ownself want to go to his house want.. and the him still tell her that he dont like me staying with him.. i also dont know how she get my number want.. i am so damm sad and i dont know what to do.. i saw all this i was damm shocked.. i have her number and than she msg the time dont want to tell me the name, but actually i have her number.. but i pretand that i dont know..

i already know they like each other.. i also not stupid.. i lost everything liao.. i know at this stage i cannot win already.. anyway i leaving soon liao lerz.. so i tell her not to worry... but she still say me.. ask me not to call or msg him and find him when he go to the basketball court.. i also know why.. so that they can be together.. than people will think that me and the him really break up liao lerz.. he dont call me darling already..

Saturday, 16.10.2010

yesterday, i was so happy... the him didnt go to the KTV with the girls.. gary, edmund, david all go with them.. i know he want to go want.. cause i heard him say.. i was sad for a moment.. but than after that i stop.. cause i think again.. he in the end never go so i am so happy (n_n).... he in the end go and play basketball.. than i meet shi li (wei zhi the girlfriend).. she also dont like the girls.. she hate them to the core.. haiiz..

who likes to see their own boyfriend to flirt with another girl.. who dont want their own boyfriend to see her more important than those girls.. who dont want their boyfriend to love and prtect them.. i also want..

but than i dont have the chance to enjoy all this liao lerz.. i know my own body want.. i know that i cannot got that day... happy married and have kids with the person i know.. (;_;)

m(_ _)m SORRY PEOPLE... I DONT KNOW THINGS WILL BECOME TILL LIKE THAT m(_ _)m

after that me and shi li meet at the bubble tea store to buy drinks for both our beloved.. i know he likes to drink milk tea so i bought for him.. after that i and shi li walked to the basketball court to find them.. shi li said that quite weird if we walk together and they will be shocked.. cause we actually dont know each other want.. hahahaz.. but i told her it is okies.. cause they both know liao.. so wont shocked.. : D

after that we both sit there and wanted to talk want.. but than too many guys there liao.. so i decided not to say anything.. if not got more trouble..

funny thing is that we sit there the time.. saw something so funny sia.. two cats at the tree behind doing that kind of things... so disgusting sia.. hahahaz.. after that shi li and wei zhi go liao.. i am the only girl there... sit and watch them play basketball.. : D

after that me jim son, yong da and the him went to the market to eat.. : ) we both eat chicken rice.. hahahaz.. they are talking about the jersery thing.. i was jking only.. the yong da go and ding me.. i was like trying to be as friendly as possiable liao.. haiiz.. : D

after that we go buy water than go home liao.. help the him to make his leg than edmund, gary and david came over to play mahjong.. but than the him dont want to play let me play.. i had real fun sia that day play mahjong.. : D play till morning about going to 1am than stop.. play one round only.. haiiz... quite sian want.. cause edmund play one round than cannot take it liao.. haiiz.. hahahaz.. (n_n) but than i had real fun.. : ) this is my day till yesterday.. today the stuff i will update later... : D

**alot of this i have to let go and give up.. cause i cannot bring it with me to the ground... (T.T)zzzzzzz......

(>*-*>)freakingsadandsickgal

luvs@pooh&you

Tuesday, October 12, 2010; 10/12/2010 10:40:00 PM

(^^)// a n3w r00m \\(^^)

hmm... today i didnt go anywhere.. stayed at home after that at night went to go see see look look a place.. :)

hmm... pratically the place isnt very nice.. and when i come home i learnt that i cant force 1...

dont care than dont care lorz.. got what big deal.. lose than lose lorz.. make use than make use lorz..

will lose one piece of meat from the body maez.. people dont appreciate what you do than forget it... play than play lorz.. they want to make fun want to play want to tease than let them lorz.. people the mouth what.. what can i do???!!!!

i do what i can do liao.. they treat you like invisiable than nvm.. at least you did your part...

anyway i am going off soon liao.. not long liao to that day... waiting for that day to come only... now can do what than do what.. want to cry want to laugh want to happy now do faster is the best.. wait next time no chance liao than will regret why now never do...

i see, i hear, i do...

where got people will care about a sick person.. of course got new wants than go for the new ones.. where got go for the old ones want... another 1 more month pals, you all can see me botak already.. not that i go into army.. but is for some other reason.. also dont know army or air force will want me anot.. cause of my condition.. hahahaz.. but who cares.. at least i tried.. (^^)//

CHEERS TO MEL MEL!!!!!!!!! (^^)//

all the best to me.. tomorrow i have to go for the medical check up at the SAF centre.. hahahaz.. : )

nites ppl...

(>*-*>)notimegal

luvs@pooh&you

Sunday, October 10, 2010; 10/10/2010 02:59:00 PM

^^ 10 0f 10 0f 2010 ^^ a dAy t0 b3 hAppY 0n3 ^^

today is suppose to be me and the him's anniversary.. 10/10/10... nice date right... but than i doubt that the him remembered this date.. i really hope that he wont go out with other girls but go out with me instead.. at least only for today... but i think that it is impossiable.. everyone is so happy about today 10/10/10...

i also want to be happy on this date!!! can i have what i want??.. or i can only dream about it??..

yesterday i went down for dinner with the him.. and than he sits with me i am so happy but than the rest of them haiiz.. they like so hate me sia.. i am there but they treat me like i am not there like that.. infront of me keep saying the him and another girl.. say and say and say.. i want to pissed off liao.. i am so sad.. somemore they are the people that i love the most and respect the most.. thinking that no matter how much they dont like me also no need to like that want..

i am not invisiable and i exsit.. please give me some respect although i know that you all dont like me.. : (

SICKERING!!!!!! (;_;)

yes i know that i dont have any status anymore.. haiiz.. the him still say.. if i dont want to hear than next time dont come down to find him lorz.. i hear liao.. i just keep quiet cause i know i cannot say back one.. i know the look on their faces is like "wah y are you here", people also dont want you liao you still so thick skin... (;_;)..

after that they at basketball court talk talk.. infront of me keep saying what find YY LZ all this.. i know who they referring to.. i not stupid also.. haiiz.. i am damm sad and hurt.. but i keep quiet and sms on my phone.. so that i wont cry.. like i am totally not there like that.. they went to eat supper, but before that the him send me home.. david was nice to worry for me.. : ) thanks david..

after that i went home... i think the him dont know that i secretly went out and luckily i can back at around 3 plus and the him is not back.. almost later than him come back.. but he came back he and the others also came.. they watched the show MIRRORS 2.. i am so damm freaking freaked out... i want to sit with the him but he dont let.. i also know why want.. haiiz.. at night i cant sleep at all.. i am shaking all over.. so scared i cried.. but the him scolded me.. so i try to clam down.. but he still cares and hug me sleep.. : ) that is the best.. morning wake up jiu like that liao.. i think the him is going out soon.. saw him making the JERSEY or something for basketball... dont understand why they want to make when they are not in a school team or basketball team.. maybe they want to make me feel extra.. not in their group want.. as me to GET LOST... maybe i think too much.. i feel that the ladies will want to show off to me want.. the next time i go to the basketball court.. haiiz.. sometimes i go down they saw me than will down there say say and keep looking at me with a weird kind of look.. which i also know why larz.. haiiz...

the day before i went to NTUC to get some things that the him likes.. thought that he will be home.. cause i walked pass the basketball court and no one is playing liao cause got event.. so i went home.. i forgot to bring my keys.. but i realise that he is not at home also.. so i called him.. he picked up i ask him where is he than he ask david to lie to me.. so loud that i can hear.. was so hurt.. at the background i hear so many girls screaming.. at that point of time i know liao.. they say they playing basketball.. but i dont know what they really doing.. haiiz.. xiao hei got say what the him still treat people eat steamboat all this.. haiiz.. what i can do??... i told him i was outside the door.. i still got milk and the milk will spoil.. he told me you wait outside lorz.. if not go other people house and put the milk.. i was shocked or can say not totally shocked cause i know to him i am not important already.. i cried outside.. he say that he will be back at 10pm, he wont come back for me.. but in the end he didnt come back at 10pm he came back at 10.30pm.. the person that come back at 10pm is his father.. i waited outside for him for an hour.. i dont understand why he like that.. i still go NTUC and buy the things he wants back for him to enjoy.. but he just like that stay outside and wait lorz.. i 10pm than come back.. haiiz.. : ( sad but i cant say anything also..

ALL OF THEM DONT RESPECT ME ANYMORE!!!!

cause i lost my status... and they all think i so thick skin, GEN BI CHONG and a laughing stock for them to laugh at...

WORRIED.. SAD... HURT... today surpose to be a happy day.. and i hope it will.. (n_n)

JIA YOU BAH!!!!

will update later in the day what happen.. : ) loves!!!

(>*-*>)desertedgal

luvs@pooh&you

Thursday, October 7, 2010; 10/07/2010 09:25:00 PM

(;_;) h0p3s tHAt Ar3 cRaSh3d, h3Art tHAt is br0k3n (;_;)

day after day.. day after day.. seconds after seconds.. hours after hours.. mintues after mintues..
..all pass by just like this.. waiting and waiting....

why time want to pass so fast..

why is it so easily broken?... why is so easy to get hurt??... can anyone tell me???...

COMFORTS? HUGS? LOVES? PROMISES? FORGIVES? HURTS? TRUSTS? LIES? SMILES?

what are all this??.. can anyone explain to me??.. what does all this means??..

today hmm.. i actually dont want to ask want.. but i feel so bad.. ask liao also i get hurt myself.. making decisions is a hard thing sometimes espically at this kind of time.. haiiz..

wake up today, go downstairs to eat with the him.. everything has its differences.. like today me and the him ordered the same LOR MEE.. one S$3.00 one S$2.50.. can see the difference want.. one more one less.. not saying about the money.. saying what happens wont make any difference now.. so i will prefer that i dont say.. but i cant hold back my tears.. hopes that were crashed until like a mirror that dropped from a very high building..

after that the him went to play basketball.. told me that he will come back at 7 or 8pm but in the end the him came back one hour after the time he say.. not that i am not used to it.. but is the trust that i gave i cant be used to it thats all.. like i say waiting and waiting..

today AIR FORCE called me to go for the interview for the position DEFENCE EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT.. sounds good but the pay i still not sure yet.. monday i will be going for the interview.. and wednesday i going for the body check-up by the SAF.. also dont know for what.. also never grantee that i will get in.. hahahaz.. but nvm maybe got good prospect.. so will go and see see look look.. : )

other than that, that is my day today.. nothing much going to work tomorrow to see if the job suit me anot.. : ) will not go and sign yet.. : ) just in case the army wants me.. : ) although the pay is so different but i think also good to be in the army.. (^^)// cheers..

like this MV, it is the song to my blog.. : )

(>*-*>)hope&heartcrashedgal

luvs@pooh&you

Wednesday, October 6, 2010; 10/06/2010 11:53:00 PM

@ g00d pAy, g00d eNviR0m3nT @

went for a interview today with the him..
luckily i went for the interview, better pay and better prospect than the other company.. : )

HR ASSISTANT @ Transvert Scaffold & Engineering Pte Ltd

No 48 Hillview Terrace #06-05

Hillview Building

Singapore 669269

so funny i went in for the interview talk for 45mins with my HR manager.. she is so nice to me.. hahahaz.. good start good start.. (^^)

my darling went in, wah waited for him for an hour plus.. but the job is good... OE (operation excutive)!!!
good sia.. the manager see him quite good.. but than also must wait.. hehehehez.. if my darling can get that job will be good.. : ) but he will have to run here and there.. need alot of leadership skills and plannings..

JIA YOU DARLING!!!!!!

so funny.. my manager one look than know that the him is my boyfriend.. still ask when getting married.. i hear liao so happy sia.. : ) hahahahaz.. keep smiling.. : ) we already try not to stand so close liao she still can see.. hahahaz.. : ) after the interview we all go home.. he bathe liao than go down play basketball.. i am so tired so go and sleep awhile.. hahahaz.. : D

the him come home than we went out to shop for food.. buy drinks and food to replenish the fridge.. hahahaz..

HAPPY!!!! HAPPY>>>> HAPPY...

going to start work this friday.. : )

WISH ME ALL THE BEST!!!!!!!! hahahahaz..

(>*-*>)happygal

luvs@pooh&you

Tuesday, October 5, 2010; 10/05/2010 10:15:00 PM

\\(^^) g00d?? n0t g00d?? S33 h0w i S33 tHiNgS (^^)//

today my day goes quite smoothly.. hmm.. nothing much to say also..

tired and my eyes are failing me.. sometimes i cant see properly.. : (

today sleep wake up than have to prepare to go for interview liao lerz.. i ask the him to fetch me go to westmall so i can go get my clothes for the interview.. : ) in the end he really send me go i am really happy.. but i got some doubts myself.. this is one of the things that i have to convience myself to stop..

cab over to the place rather nice and big.. talked to the interviwer, Irene.. she is really nice and offered my quite high the pay for my education.. and i can still go and study.. : ) that is the best part.. (^^)// cheers... there have no cab want.. than got one uncle sending stuffs, he is so nice to offer me a ride.. too bad he not soon lu to bukit batok.. but still he offered to give me a ride to the MRT station.. he is so nice.. : ) hahahaz.. but after that i got a cab so in the end didnt take the ride.. : ) hahahaaz..

it is a good start!!!!

after that i go to basketball court to find the him and told him the news.. hmm.. i felt weird there cause people are starring at me.. i also know why they like that.. haiiz.. but i wont go and say much.. : ( after that i go home and rest, bathe all this.. wait for him to come back at 5pm to eat dinner.. in the end he didnt come back.. he came back at 5.30pm and he meeting his army friends at 6pm.. so i have to have my dinner myself.. went to go get his basketball back from his friend at the shealter, hmm.. frankly speaking his friend never pass the ball to me very nicely.. he throwed at me.. i didnt catch it, and it rolled off, he didnt say sorry.. but it is okies i also know why they like that.. (*v*)...

waiting for the him to come home now.. if everything goes smoothly than tomorrow i can start and earn some money.. : ) hahahaz.. help him and help myself..

after i get my report yesterday i today have the urge to make all my enemies to be my friends.. i have to take the first step first.. but than i really hope that they will forgive me and be my friends.. i dont want to in the future have to leave in regrets.. (;_;)/~~~~ hahahaz.. hope that i have said the right things and send the msg right.. if not it only make things worst.. have also realise that pride is not actually very important, at least not at this point of time.. : )

today i have made alot of tough decisions.. donations, taking the first step to people that i dont like in the past and be friends with them.. and also many more.. : )

hope everything goes smoothly from now on... : )

(>*-*>)bigdecisionsgal

luvs@pooh&you

Monday, October 4, 2010; 10/04/2010 02:40:00 AM

(^-^) An0th3r dAy 0f tiR3dn3ss (^-^)

hmm... was actually going to update it before 12am want.. but than in the end i went to play mahjong with big david, xiao hei and my darling... hahahaz... in the end i lose S$1.20 but than my darling cover up for me... than my darling win S$15... wahhhhhhhh alot right.. haiiz poor big david.. hmm... had a great game.. and lots of fun... : )

didn't update my dairy the last few days cause i wasn't in a really good mood and had very bad days.. especially the day before.. don't wish to say anything cause i am very sad... (;_;)/~~~~

in the wee morning, david, xiao hei, my darling and kenneth played mahjong and i watched some.. i think my darling let me play to make me happy.. hahahaz... at least he tried to make me happy.. cause that day i was so sad.. i cried for 7hours straight.. longest that i ever known in my life.. (for what i remembered)... hmm.. but won't say what really went wrong..

than durning the mahjong game.. at one point of time i was so damm pissed off cause they never put me in their eyes.. infront of me keep saying what the him and another girl this and that.. somemore at that time i eat my painkillers but my stomach is still aching very badly.. i have no mood to play mahjong at all at that time and i lose money.. haiiz.. after that i was better... so my mood also get better.. cause i think they saw my face change so they stop for awhile..

after that i let the him take over me cause my pain was really bad.. hahahaz.. than i go down help to go buy some food.. than i eat my medicine.. after that i felt better... (^-^) that is a good sign.. than want to sleeppp.. but than i slept like 45mins than wake up one time.. so after that i decided that i will watch my darling play.. in the end they played till 7.40am.. wahhhh... we played the whole night.. and than david, xiao hei and kenneth went to play basketball.. wahhhh.. they are so cool.... hahahaz... (>*-*>)

luckily the him didn't follow them.. hehehehez... so wicked right me... i don't wish for him to go.. really!!!

slept until 4pm in the afternoon than he go and played basketball.. hahahaz.. i followed him down i go waston than he go play basketball.. i don't feel really good seeing him play basketball with the girls.. but than how.. i love him so let him go and play..

i see i feel sad and jealous.. but than really hope that he cares for my feelings...

went to watsons and bought some cosmetics for me and the him... hahahaz... and body soap also.. quite cheap 3 refills for only S$8.. hmm.. cheaper than buy one bottle of LUX..

CONGRATS I KNOW TO SAVE ALOT!!!!!! (^^)

after that i walked home.. walked pass the basketball court.. at least the him still got look at me although he is playing basketball... means he still care for me.. : ) i am "FLYING" hahahaz.... go back home.. bathe, wash clothes and make them dry.. after that go and continue to watch my ghost whisper.. scary.. waiting for the him to call me than i can go down to go eat with the him.. hahahaz... i was so happy... he after an hour or two like that called me than i run down.. hehehehez.. but i realise something when i reached there.. the girls are all not around already.. maybe thats y he call me go down.. or maybe is i think too much liao lerz... : (

but it is okies.. in the end me and my darling and arron and xiao hei, we all went to eat MAC but i cant finish everything.. nowsdays my appetite is not good.. i can one whole day never eat anything at all or one day eat once only.. that is so bad sia.. but i can fit into my pants perfectly.. hahahaz.. it means that i am growing skinner.. so i must continue like that.. : ) the doctors also put me on diet.. cannot eat too much oily food also.. : (

after that like you know.. me, my darling, big david and xiao hei played mahjong.. than now i can update my dairy.. hahahaz...

today will be another day of worry and anxious..

i have to go back to the hospital to see my doctor to get my report on my CT scan... haiiiz.. after that go for an interview.. the him also got a interview tml @ 4.30pm.. hmm.. all the best to him.. hehehehez...

HOPE EVERYTHING GOES WELL TODAY!!!!!!

nothing goes wrong everything will be fine...

(>*-*>)worriedandscaredgal

luvs@pooh&you

Me, Myself & I

More About Me (>*-*>)

I am Melissa, in short Mel.

Sweet 20 this year.

Waiting for the him to come and fetch me to his palace.. (^^)// .. starting a new family together... : D...

I Like: Winter, Snow...
I Dislike: People who are hyprocrates, Hate..

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MSN: happygirl_lovin@hotmail.com