٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶ scared ٩(͡๏̯͡๏)۶
10 questions that i want to ask!!!!
1. What can i do?
2. Why have it have to be done infront of someone you love?
3. Which do you preferr?
4. Can i dont be scared?
5. How can i stop all this?
6. When can i leave?
7. Have i had to see all this?
8. May i have the honour to be there?
9. Should i be given the chance and i shoule give the chance?
10. COULD THERE BE A WAY TO GET TO THAT DAY?
every night i have been having the same dream over and over again.. make me cry in my dreams.. reality already cry until tired liao lerz.. how come dream inside also want to cry..
the dreams goes like this.. simple and short than i wake up liao lerrz.... (;_;)
the him went to sentosa with that group of people.. and than one day i having dinner with the him and his good friend... i went out to get the food.. coming back the time i heard the him friend ask him what the hell he wants and why he want to do that.. i wasnt quite sure what is happening.. same as the him.. than the him ask the friend what he talking about.... the friend angrily said dont act blur and throw a lot of pictures on the table and ask him why he want to play me!!!! i was so curious i went in, put down the food and pick the pictures up to look... (.-.) shocked!!!!... every picture inside i see the him hugging another girl and can guess who.. i dont want to say out the name... after that i was so depressed ＿|￣|○ i jumped... after that i wake up already... having this kind of dream isnt very funny... i feeling of falling is so scary... having to die like this is so horrible.. bringing along with me those sadness and hurts...
thats why i keep having sleepless nights.. if not i will wake up in the middle of the night!!!!
i keep thinking alot of things.. wanting to call him or msg him.. but like i said i am so afraid that the group of people wont let me go.. so in the end i didn't...
today i discover something again.. everyday at least got one thing for me to see want...
yesterday want the favourites...
now he go out.. he never kiss me on my forehead before he leave... he didnt even bother... i am half awake half asleep so i know.. slowly slowly he will take away everything from me... he go and play basketball come back i keep thinking he go pasa malam with her... i stupidly go and ask him wanting to trust him... i shouldnt have go and ask... than the him left yen ting's cup at the basketball court, he wants to go get it back actually i want to help him go and buy food and take the cup want... but thinking again i dont want to go cause i scared... : ( he say me lazy i also okies... he bought nasi lemak for me and himself... came back we eat and also watch one ghost movie scary sia... : (
i ask him, he got anything he want to tell me???.. he say what... than i dont want to ask liao...
i also dont know how to ask, i am scared i get the answer that i dont want to hear... (;_;)
i dont even dare to call him darling also...
i am restricting myself already... try not to talk too much also...
pratically i think no more chance liao...
while helping him to make his leg, his army friend called him.. i think thursday the him going to play mahjong with them... seeing him keep msging the person talking on msn it hurts so much... but than i ren not to cry infront of him... now i always cry in the bath room so no one will know if not i pretand i watching a sad show.. can give me an excuse to be crying... (u_u)....
ONE STEP AT A TIME.. CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THAT RECTANGULAR STUFF...
(>*-*>)closertotheregal
Dr3aMs to Get MaRRieD to tHaT hIm
ZT
February 2008